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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Co-operation vs Competition... construct vs. deconstruct

"And on the seventh day, He rested". Genesis 1

This week an amazing opportunity arose to compare those two different items, co-operation and competition. I was going to call them opposites but since they may result in similar outcomes like creating certain ideas but also can be totally different, lets call them fruits, such as the apple to banana. And indeed there are fruits of both of these items, both competition and co-operation. The fruits of co-operation are a more harmonious, open minded and able to listen society. The fruits of competition are what I would propose are often negative in nature. Need for superego and ego, wars, theft, crime and revving up society to the point where we need more now and engines blow.

So my gentle reader, what are we looking at if we were to consider these two items in balance and where are we at right now in a First world country as we know them? Certainly it filters down even more, but let us speak of the first world, where as I have alluded to before that we are Model T Fords in a Ferrari society? Lets keep this high level, ok? We are no doubt in a competitive state. There are some in a co-operative mode and we each have pieces of the 2 poles and each of us are at a different percentage of the balance. However, I believe there is also a social balance as well, and tipped well into the bananas world of competition, probably at least 80%. Everything has to be all about me (call me princess). I need the best car, house, clothes, food and need to shine and glow and stop. Just stop. Who does not receive if I am getting? Do I win the battle and lose the war? Who has to collect the coffee, make the clothes and the rare elements for the electronics, cars etc? 

That compares different classes in the world and different countries. Thats easier for most people as they dont see, ergo they dont exist. Whatever, sucks to be them. See ya, dont write mentality.

BUT, what of the competition in a smaller microcosm like a town, city or workplace? Who gets hurt? I won so who cares is the concepts and constructs. Well someone does and I can assure you from the work that I do that people hurt so bad it can kill them, flare up sickness or dampen some beautiful spirits. Sad state of affairs. Want to be right and controlling, be a micro-manager. Thats competition, class attitude and destructive on so many levels. Thats not valuing others or respect.  Doesnt have to be at work but this also translates to family, home and social interactions.

To co-operate is to appreciate and respect the contributions and gifts of others. To give them a say and chance in as balanced of a forum as you are able. To active versus passively listen. To take only what you need and pass the plate along. To be open and receptive and wanting to manifest using what you have so as to actively thrive.That you can express yourself, be open versus absorbing the toxicities having a desire goal and endpoint in mind that is a summation of mainly the small gifts and miracles hat exist in the day to day moments and actively offer to share them not just with yourself, but with others and those ideas are respected. To play nicely in the sandbox and be a kid and laugh. All these are in part recipes for better mental health which I might go into more in depth in later weeks. Suffice to say.. To give openly, expecting nothing in return but to thrive.

For co-opertion is living and thriving, competition is going through the motions of life. What do you chose? And if you chose it, dont just tell me as thats useless... go out there and demonstrate it by actions! Only then can you be yourself, often.

 

  --- Joel Lamoure April 2011 

8:09 am edt 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Live for the Journey, Not the Destination

Montmartre. Greetings my gentle readers and sorry for the delay but as you can tell by the location and byline, Ive been away for a while. I saw this posted on a wall and thought that it bore discussing in this weeks blog. So much I know has gone on in the past week and I know this week ahead will be one of successes and challenges, dreams made and broken and a period of endings and beginnings, all in one.

This has been a week of floods and being in a disaster zone at times and seeing how people act and react. To realize the humility that the Gods are not crazy, but Mother Nature is not happy. This made the motivational statement on the wall that much more rich and poignant. To feel and embrace the moments and I have been blessed to add to this by connections in person, interviews and by books.

How and what we do and our belief systems do drive our end objectives so much more than we know. I know better that the journey is enhanced by effective communications and I end this week a wee bit smarter and a wee bit more humble. To realize that it is not about the big objective endpoints, but the small successes and wins of the day. To feel and embrace the sights and smells and senses that exist within the day makes the journey all that much more rich. We meet special people along the way who care and feel and then that ripples out. To value looking in a friends eyes or hear them laugh. To care and love and worry. To spend the resource of time to capitalize and collect memories that we would miss in the course of the day if we are too tied up in the end destination.

I know that I have written many times before that my mantra is peace, patience, silence, humility and serenity. All of these are intertwined and interconnected and this week really brought that home. To be an inspector and student, all in one felled swoop in the same week. To experience luxury and a natural disaster all in one week. To know the value of a kind word or gesture and love is an intelligent concern for others. The gifts we give travel out in concentric circles. I have several strong and brave people back in London to visit when I am back....

To find oneself is a journey and then, and only then can we really be ourselves, often.

 

--- Joel Lamoure   April 2011 

2:01 pm edt 

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Great Expectations (Continued)

 Greetings and happy Sunday to my gentle readers. There were so many comments from last week blog that I though I would extend along some of the findings of the week and basically make a sequel. I know that usually sequels completely and utterly bite, but lets see what we can do with Great Expectations 2. Not the Pip meet Miss Haversham style, although that may be a point of discussion at some point, as that chapter is so well written in Dickens' style.

I believe that disappointment is rooted in expectations. The expectations that someone will do something without communication. The expectation that they will do what is expected. The expectation that the darn blind date is a perfect 10. The expecttaion that people care about your believe system is the same as yours.

I am learning through this week the beauty that comes with communication. G'd forbid we THINK that we are doing it with all of our texting, letters, emails and social networks but folks, thats wrong. To long for that touch, that smile and to really look into the eyes and the windows of the soul of someone is where the rubber meets the road so to speak. And to make and decide priorities different than someone, as we all see and value things differently can lead to self-disappointment.

We must talk and communicate and smile shamlessly. To be able to look beyond the labels. I have been SO lucky this week to connect and meet incredible people. Those that have had challenges and make them successes. People that can take a challenge and dream of saving the world and enlightening it. The sort of person you would WANT to be a friend but might judge. I refuse to judge and the miracles open up. People who are facing dark days and ruin and still look for hopes and goals and dreams and have the moxie to make it happen. Those sort of people facing deadly diseases and believing and rooting in family despite the challenges. The people that can dream for the stars and FIGHT to get it. SO incredible. Of my friends, you know who you are.

I was also fortunate this week to do a BlogRadio presentation with a great interviewer, Adam DeYoung out of Washington. If it helps one person or gives thoughts and insights then it is worth it. Here is the link if you wish to hear it. 

My friends, in order to love and find ourselves, we need the gentle touch and communications of others so that we can go "From Good to Great" as the book says. And only then can we be ourselves, often.

 

---Joel Lamoure April 2011 

 

9:17 am edt 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Mirror Cure or Curse

Greetings to another week my gentle readers and let us escape the gasps and palpitations of the week to step back and reflect on what was a week of successes and challenges. Funny that all weeks seem to start out with this little homily isnt it? A week where life kicked you in the arse and a week of validations and successes and wins. Mind you, I must say that 95% of the wins this week didnt take a form exactly like I had conceived or contrived to happen by accident or design. Son of a B, when will I of all people learn and realize that? Maybe someday I'll learn Im not really grown up and see that mystical from a better perspective all the time versus light through the looking glass. "I think, therefore I am" was a famous quote by Descartes in reply to the question: "Is there anything I can know with absolute certainty?" Sadly....all Descartes identified ahead of Freud by hundreds of years was the Ego.

I really believe if I was to say this given the week past would be "I Believe, therefore it will be". This ties into the title and the Mirror Cure which was a postulation put forth by Scientific American and followed up in The New England Journal of Medicine about 3-5 years ago. Amputees were to look at a mirror image of their reflected intact limb that made it appear that both were still intact and then told to move both libs, including the phantom sensations that are so well associated with amputees. Basically, the brain was convinced that the limb was still there. And what happened? It relieved the phantom limb pain as it relieved the CONFLICT that existed and the duality that existed in the mind. I fell, but cannot see. Our brain can be SUCH a Doubting Thomas.

Why do some people do better with events and situations that happen? I had the opportunity this week to dialogue one to one for almost 2hours with a boy that is undergoing surgery to remove a deep seated brain tumour. His belief, family, friends and the goal of using the neuroplasticity that has already occurred to date after the impending surgery. His and his family's strength gave me pause to reflect and mirror to me the mirror I was reflecting to hand. In dealing with a patient sadly there is often one way influence and inference but this time I had the chance to also see a prism of mirrors, a virtual merkabah of intricate angles. A wonderful story in tragedy of inspiration and hope and wonder. Exceedingly humbling for myself.

The second instance was the mirror of "pharmacist professionalism" being used against a friend and professional colleague. That mirror was full of regimentation, uncaring, rigidity and flawed as I believe it missed the personal and patient element. That it removed the cost short and long term and caused in my mind strict adherence to the rules yet put lives at risk. That mirror was flawed in my opinion and very shallow. For really, Art again gives us an answer here. Look to Javert the policemen in "Les Miserables". How did it work for him as we threw himself into the swollen river Seine in France.

The mirrors fit so well into both the movie and play and also especially in the original 1911 text of "The Phantom of The Opera". I use mirrors extensively in teaching and rarely in patient interactions. Sometimes we need to look at what makes the mirror and its true craftsmanship and beauty and how it is polished or flawed and be aware of that.

My suggestion this week is look to your OWN mirror my sweet friends. Do you help relieve confusion and aid anestomosis in the mind of others or create more pain with our flaws? Time to be honest and do some serious polishing....For when we see what we mirror, only then can we be ourselves, often.  

  --- Joel Lamoure April 2010

10:01 am edt 


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